According to the Universal Dictionary, guilt is a remorseful awareness of having done something wrong. Seen in a spiritual light though, guilt is a real killer. It has destroyed lives,and can destroy your own live, if you let it happen. I know that many of you harbour feelings of guilt for one thing or another, so let me share a little story with you. It is about a lady I have met one evening while I was giving a talk on spiritual awareness and mediumship, which is something I am very fond of doing.

This lady is of Indian origin and in her late fifties. When she was twenty years old, she married a gentleman five years older then herself. It was an arranged marriage, consequently the love element so necessary for a successful relationship was not present. Yet as the years passed slowly by, they discovered that they had found a good match in each other. He was in the tailoring business, was a good provider and they were financially secure. They relocated to England soon after. It was something they talked about for some time. One morning, while driving to work, her husband was involved in a car crash which proved to be fatal. The ambulance men tried their hardest to revive him, to save his life, but there was nothing further they could have done for him. They were married for thirty years. The news of his sudden passing left her devastated down to the very fibres of her being. Her husband used to take care of all things, and she was not used to deal with a lot of issues the majority of us take for granted. His death marked a very tough time for her indeed.

A year after his passing, she met another gentleman and promptly fell in Love with him. This happened quite by accident and nothing about it was premeditated. She was still grieving and was not looking for any liaison's at that time. A problem developed in as far as that she was riddled with guilt about the relationship. She said, how can it be possible to find happiness in the arms of another man so soon. Hardly a year had passed since her husband was laid to rest. How can this be right? She felt it was not seemly and that she was ignoring her own principles. Culturally she was under enormous peer pressure, also pressure from friends and family, especially her three children, and because of that she felt that her relationship was at risk. Having grown up in India, she was used to a strict religious way of life from a very early age and consequently always tried to live a spiritual life. Living in England, she found herself drawn towards Spiritualism, as they welcomed people of all religious backgrounds. She told me that she always tried to be a good and dutiful wife, a good mother to her children, and that in her heart she aspired to become the best human being she was capable of becoming. Religious ideals and spiritual goals are no different in India than anywhere else in the world. I must say, judging from my first initial contact with her, I found her to be softly spoken, compliant and respectful. Now she found, that her belief in god and spirit had lessened to a considerable degree. Her guilt of having found a new love prevented her from growing spiritually and from moving forward. There was a feeling of self-loathing inside of her, that was proving to be self-destructive and serving no purpose.

After much soul searching and wringing of hands she sought advice, and was told to replace that guilt which she nursed for some time with compassion. Compassion for herself and her need to go on living in a natural and normal way. She realised, that unfounded guilt will inevitably lead to unhappiness, and in her case that proved to be a reality. In the light of that she had to make a very hard choice, and chose to take the advise. She told me that she had a lot of explaining to do, and that her children really didn't understand. The last I heard was that they were both still together, and I wish them both well. I admire her for her strength, and I feel quite sure that she didn't know that she was capable of such strength in the face of such adversity. Now, the moral of the story is, don't give way to guilt. It will hold you back, that is a fact. You will quite literally swim in a sea of self-destructive negativity. The longer you wait and evade the issue, the harder it will be to break away from it. This lady's story will serve as an everlasting reminder to me of just what it is like to suffer from guilt and it's unpleasant side-effects. There is another important point I would like to raise. If you find that there are certain things you cannot forgive yourself for, that you haven't got the capacity to do this yet, then give your problem to god. Say, "I can't forgive this, God. You do it"! And he will, believe me. It is by far the wiser thing to do than to react badly to negative situations and inadvertently create a seemingly never-ending cycle of guilt, bad will and feeling. There are so many people in the world afraid of death, but there are an equal number afraid to live, and there needn't be. Faith in Spirit is a wonderful thing, but knowledge is better. Believe me when I tell you, that the acquisition of knowledge of the Spirit is achievable to every person who is willing to take the plunge. Opportunities will make themselves known to you, the moment you commit yourself to self improvement and the willingness to serve.

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness;
to an opponent tolerance; to a friend your heart; to your
child a good example; to a father deference; to your mother,
conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself respect;
and to all men charity.

- Frances Balfour